Jessica’s Response to- The Honeymoon, Part III

I don’t think that today’s response will really be a proper post, because I am in the middle of making egg salad so that Jeremy will have something to eat when he comes home from work (yeah, don’t you wish I was YOUR wife? In my defense, I went straight to my Mom and Dad’s house after work to visit with them since they’d been at their Florida house since a day or two after the wedding and ate there…) and preparing the house for the arrival of our new puppy, Winston! But, more on our new addition later.

I honestly didn’t think about our anniversary being so close to Jeremy’s birthday until after we’d set the date. I know, I’m a horrible wife. I make my husband eat egg salad sandwiches for dinner, and I forget his birthday. Seriously though, April ended up being a good time. We were engaged in February of 2007, and Jeremy’s sister was married that October. We didn’t want to have our wedding too close to her date and steal any thunder, so that put us into 2008. January, February, and March are too iffy as far as weather goes, and so April it was. His birthday did sort of end up getting lost in the hoopla of the honeymoon, but I think we still had a pretty good day. For one thing, I was able to buy him a “Happy Birthday to my Husband!” card. How awesome is that?

And, of course, we swam with the stingrays. And sharks.

Okay, I actually took that picture of sharks in another tank, the sharks we swam with weren’t that big. Or teethy. But they were a good three to four feet long, and I watch way too much of the Discovery channel not to worry about those bad boys, which I suppose is why I didn’t notice the aquarium worker eating a fish filet. I was too worried about having my arms gnawed off.

In the tank were dozens of rays, from Cow-nose (my favorite, they were so curious and social, and they kissed our fingers and toes as well as nuzzled up against us) to Spotted Eagle Rays. Also in attendance were some Bonnet sharks that look like mini Hammerheads, another species that I don’t remember that will eventually be eleven feet long and was being housed there temporarily, and some sand sharks. There was also a fugly looking Port Jackson Shark which looks like a half ray/half shark hybrid.

Since I was the first one in, I scurried down the rocks and watched our guide lead Jeremy, clad in a nut-hugging wet suit, into the tank and out of the corner of my eye one of the Bonnet sharks appeared and swam right to me. They’re completely harmless, but they resemble Hammerhead sharks so much that my breath still caught in my chest a bit.

And now, on to Medieval Times. God, that word is awkward to spell. Yes, it was a festival of cheese, but we had FRONT ROW SEATS to that bad boy! I did get a carnation from our knight, which I believe marks the second time in the past three years that a man has gotten me flowers. The other time was the night Jeremy proposed. Not like I NEED or WANT flowers, or anything. At all. Seriously. Stop looking at me like that.

For the record, Jeremy did indeed take his souvenir banner home to use as a straw, along with his 3-D hologram Medieval Times beer cup. The cup is tucked far away in one of our kitchen cabinets. The banner/straw got thrown away days ago after being left in my car since April 29th. My bad!

Jeremy Writes- The Honeymoon, Part III

I have my suspicions that Jess set our wedding date when she did so that I wouldn’t be able to forget an anniversary.

Next year I’ll think… “Oooh! My birthday’s coming up! Oooh, my anniversary’s coming up, too!”

I hit the big 3-1 on Tuesday. And felt every bit older.

My neck was really sore.

I pin the blame on this book I was reading.

It was a good book, and so I continued reading it…and reading it…and eyes heavy….and reading it…. until Jess found me the next morning on the loveseat, the book on the floor beside me.

And the loveseat had these crazy high armrests, so my neck was bent at near a 90 degree angle for most of the night.

Ugh.

We went out for breakfast. I ordered a Philly steak omelette. On the menu it said Philly steak, mushrooms, peppers, and Swiss cheese. Swiss cheese? Who puts Swiss cheese on a Philly steak? That’s the way they do it down South, I guess. I substituted cheddar. It wasn’t authentic, but it was much closer than Swiss would have been.

Jess had planned something special for the day. Involving stingrays.

No, no…. not THAT.

We went swimming with them.

I was a little apprehensive. Steve Irwin swam with the rays, too. And, crikey!

We were picked up at the hotel by Mindy and Ray. The guy’s name was actually Ray. I think it would have been cooler if the girl’s name was Amanda. You know…. Amanda Ray? A manta ray? You… no? Well…. I thought it would have been cool.

So, we arrive at the Ripley’s Aquarium, and Mindy Ray take us to a table in the cafeteria to give us instructions and tell us some sting ray factoids and what have you. Several tables over, an employee is eating lunch. I believe it was a fish filet sandwich. And I thought that was a horribly mean thing to eat in an aquarium. Maybe it was a slow learner. The other fish, I’m guessing, could see him eating their fallen comrade. Then again, what would the fish think? “Look at that guy! He’s eating one of us! Th…. oh, hey, coral!”

Jess and I put on wet suits. And, thank God for small favors… I’m really glad I don’t have a rubber fetish. Because those wet suits left nothing to the imagination. Ray is one of only a handful of people who now knows which of my testicles hang lower than the other.

We slip into frigid water and kneel as Ray holds out pieces of raw squid. One by one, the sting rays come over and eat, and we get to pet them. They feel really odd, like rosary beads encased in jello.

Then, it was off to Medieval Times, a dinner theater where knights joust while we eat.

If it weren’t for the glowing red Exit signs and the holograms projected on the ground, I would have actually thought I was magically whisked away to… to Medieval Times.

It was cheesy as all hell, but fun.

We cheered on the black and white knight. He lost in the first round.

Before he “died” he gave Jess a carnation. Just handed it to her. And, I wanted to say “Hey, back off, F**k-o, we just got married.”

But, I didn’t.

And then he “died.”

Serves him right, the home wrecker.

I also discovered (at the end of the night, unfortunately) that the chintzy souvenir flags they give you can be used as a straw.

 

More later!